Joy of Marriage (song)

 Woke up to find a man in my closet

Wasn't the first time one was there

Sometimes coming home they'd be waiting

Eager to get started, grabbing my hair


They'd tell me they could do me good

They''d wipe away my tears 

It's nothing personal Mrs  I'd get told

It's just that I need some cash to hold


He said "Booh!" I replied "Boo hoo" 

Told him I knew why he was there

But I didn't have time to care 

Get it done quick or get out of here



"Why do you think I'm with you now?" 

He asked me with a chuckled grin

I told him my husband always does this

He's not the first to get hired for this sin


He told me he would do me good

Make it so it would all be over soon

No offense but money was at stake now

Let him finish and he'd be out by noon


I told some truths unexpected 

About the size of our bank accounts

Showed him proof and assured him

There's no insurance  

He walked out 


I needed an escape, I needed a release 

But i couldn't get it,  no matter how much

They crawled and begged me "Please." 


They always said it wouldn't happen

Despite the hate, despite the joy

They left with thought of murder 

And, I was stuck with the mad boy


Walked in to find a man in my room

Like he'd paid to be living there

I asked why he was on my sofa

He said it'd be done soon, no fear


Stepped into the kitchen to find another

He said "Mrs, don't you see... 

I was hired to do a job by a married slob

He was hired  for no pay 

As I proved to him that day 

Hired to kill my children's mother


Which was me 


I told the truths he didn't say 

Kind of truths that made them go away

Always claiming they wanted to do him

But, only for pay or only if I'd say 


yes, murder him today 


Always aid they would do me good 

Told me it would take no time   

It's not that I hate you, lass, I 

 I . just want what's mine


That's not why I got married

That's not how I'm gonna  live my life 

I love God and   It's not my problem

If he  wants to kill his wife


They tried to talk me into it 

Offered me a real good deal

But, like the men who knew him well

Who'd come banging on my door 

Asking for permission out of respect

Offering to hire out their ..44 


They always said it wouldn't happen

Despite the hate, despite the joy

They left with thought of murder 

And, I was stuck with the mad boy


He never appreciated all the times

That I didn't commit those crimes

That I let him live, love and learn

While paying rent that I earned


His family kept him from getting arrested

Though they sure had no love lost for 

That gas-sniffing lunatic husband of mine

Who they wanted to kill so many times.


I needed an escape, I needed a release 

But i couldn't get it,  no matter how much

They crawled and begged me "Please." 


They always said it wouldn't happen

Despite the hate, despite the joy

They left with thought of murder 

And, I was stuck with the mad boy

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